Diary of a Terrorist

Things had calm down after the intense firing between my team and the two terrorist that had stormed the terminus 20 minutes back, as I entered all that I witnessed was people lying dead in pool of blood, the count would be in 100's was my approximate assessment. In the cross firing we had shot down the two terrorist who were responsible for this dismay. When I reached near one of those dead insurgent I saw him lying with  a small diary in his left hand and a pen in another, he seemed in his early 20's wearing a fancy T-shirt and cargo. Later when I analyzed that day book I found out it was his diary where in he had written the detailed description of his daily activities. As I opened the first page, it read.........
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25 Nov

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From last six months I have been rigorously training in this camp at Azizabad near Karachi, my training included Psychological, Basic Combat, Advanced Training and Commando Training. A month back from the batch of 25, 9 others along with me were handpicked for the Mumbai mission. Besides the use of high-end weapons and explosives we also received special training in swimming and sailing, under the supervision of LeT commanders.

The preparation also included intake of heavy doses of steroids and stringent workout to develop a better physic and stamina to provide enough resistance to Indian defense forces when we confront them. By now we have also got accustomed to taking cocaine regularly to keep awake for nights on stretch without feeling dizzy, this is essential for success of our mission I have been told.

Being the second in chief of the operation its success thrives on my shoulders now, every move needs to be assessed with precise accuracy, its now or never for us. I need to be strong and merciless when I massacre all those people; I want to see fear in their eyes, I want to fill the streets of "City of Dreams" with raging blood all over. 

This is my only opportunity I know to pay back to my nation and avenge the injustice done to my people on other side of the border, who have been maladroitly treated there for ages; and now its time to liberate them from their misery.

Me and my 9 companions know it well that we wont make it back, after all its a fidayeen (suicide attack) mission but we are rest assured that our families will be well look after by our commander-in-chiefs.

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26 Nov:

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 Today we boarded a small boat for Mumbai to travel by sea from Karachi, across the Arabian Sea; mid way we hijacked one of the Indian fishing trawler, killed the crew and then forced the captain to sail to Mumbai.

During the journey as the cold breeze hit my face, I couldn't stop wondering about how people sell their souls, their loyalty, their love for their nation just for the sake of money, and this boosted my moral; at least we were dying for the call of duty- for our nation. 


As the trawler was approaching the coast, we were busy studying the blue prints and other detail for one final time, the Google earth and navigation has made our task that much simpler. 


As per the plan I'm  shouldered with the responsibility to storm the crowded railway station, which also happens to be a prime terminus and a heritage site of this city. Attacking it will leave bruises and scar's on this nation which will never heal and continue reminding them of our power and will forever.

On reaching close to Mumbai shore we murdered the captain and entered the city on a rubber dinghy. As the dinghy reached the south coast of Mumbai we disembarked in the shabby slum and got lost in the dark streets of the city.

"Today is the day of our success, today we strike and strike their soul, no matter how and when we die, but we will still take hundreds of them with us!" these were my words enough to provide the needed impetus to my team. before we split in different directions to execute our mission.

 As I entered the terminus, all that I could see around me was a horde of people walking, children crying, old men and women waiting for the train to arrive. Suddenly something within me yelled at me "What are you waiting for? Start firing!! Its now or never Do it now!!”

Coming back to my senses I pulled out my AK-47 and started firing in a rage, there was a  mass hysteria all around, suddenly I noticed a policemen opening fire from his pistol at me, I ducked and took cover behind one of the  columns and couldn't stop mocking at this country;


 "how strong was their defense?" I muttered to myself. "He just has few bullets and an ordinary pistol and I ‘m carrying an automatic rifle and a good supply of ammunition with me. How is he going to stop me poor hapless chap, his country has made him a scrape goat". I smirked.

He kept shooting helplessly with his pistol but it was no match to my AK-47 and when finally he was done I aimed straight for his forehead knocking him down and continued my massacre with a wicked smile on my face. My adrenaline was pumping by now and cocaine was taking its effect taking me to a ecstasy; boosting my ego.

By this time panic had set everywhere, people were running haphazardly, running in the puddle of blood created by me, running for their lives. But I was determined to kill as many as possible before I die.

Suddenly I felt something struck me from nowhere, Ah ! I was hit my a bullet I realized, I ran for cover and hid in the corner of a booking counter. From there all that I could see in front of me were dead bodies lying in a tarn of blood.

 I was trying to recuperate and prepare myself for another strike, loading the magazine, and then what I saw shook me to the core, a man who was badly injured himself was trying to carry a small child to safety- a child who happened to be of my religion, just beside him there was a police officer trying to take an old couple to safety-who again happened to be of my religion;

 What was this? I pondered. After all we were told repeatedly in the camp that our people were treated badly in this nation, they were tortured, all the videos that I witnessed in the camps signified the same. 


But what I was witnessing right now in front of me portrayed a completely different picture. I started questioning myself whether what we did was right; because I could see my people there too, lying in the heap of bodies; courtesy me and my AK-47.


 "It was suppose to be war to liberate our people isn't it?" my inner voice stated "Then why are they lying there in hundreds? who is responsible for this?? Its you and only you!!"

Yes I was the one; who was responsible to kill so many of my own people, it was me whose bullets had injured that small innocent child, then how come I was doing it for my God? My God never preached violence, he could have never encouraged war, and what I was a part of; was definitely in no ways a war for freedom from evil and injustice. Bullets don't differentiate between people and their religion it just kills I realized.

The pierced bullet had started to spread the pain deep within; my blood was profusely flowing. I realized it's too late now, what has been done can’t be undone. I was misguided by traitors of our own nation.

Lying in my own gore, I hope my God forgives me, for this horrendous crime that I have committed in pretext of his name. My vision has started to fade now, and I can remember the day...


 I had fought with my dad, just because he couldn't give me 100 bucks on my birthday and in that rage I had left my home, started with pick pocketing and later got picked by LeT, only to be brainwashed on pretext of our religion and people; to come for this attack. 


I regeret leaving my parents, I could have been better but I didn't, neither did I prove to be a good son nor a worthy citizen of my country. I'm not a martyr but a terrorist and I die as one.

I hope someday someone reads this log so that he can understand, how we were misguided and how thousands of young folks like me are mislead everyday to believe that they are in war for justice, they are brain washed and made to believe that our people aren't safe in this country. I want to spread a message via this diary, "Terrorism has no religion, no cast and no nation. all that it does is kill humanity"~~~.........

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As I finished reading the last log, I made my mind to publish it, so that it can serve as a message and also a  warning for all those misguided young lads from all over the world and also help them in giving an insight in a life they are planning to take up and the end they will meet.


-Aditya Kasar (AK)




P.S: The story is a piece of fiction and imagination and any resemblance to any person, place is mere coincidence and completely unintentional, by no means the author intends to hurt sentiments of any nation or religion mentioned herein.